Thursday, July 07, 2011

Mojo The Bounty Hunter

Mojo The Bounty Hunter

Bounty That Knows No Bounds

I often wonder why Lew and Mojo stay friends, what with Mojo being such a jerk. But perhaps I'm misjudging the situation. Lew might very well have volunteered to play the part of the bail jumper. From his perspective, jail might be a much cleaner, safer, and quieter environment than living with Mojo.

Hunting Fashion

Often, before posting a comic, I'll get an opinion from whatever sucker is on instant messenger at the time I finish. Yesterday, this sucker was Rob Weychert. The only comment he had, was that he was confused by Mojo's apparel while attempting to nab his bounty. Of course, Rob had merely forgotten one of the most important lessons Star Wars teaches us: 95% of what makes an effective bounty hunter is a little something called "style". To help drive home this point, I've decided to share three of Mojo's competitors...

Wet Charlie

A member of over 4 different militias, each considered just crazy enough to be raided by the FBI, Wet Charlie tracks down felons on the run the old-fashioned way — with extensive pseudo-military experience gleaned from repeated viewings of Red Dawn, and a lethal cocktail of high-powered weaponry, explosives, edged-weapons, and superfluous pockets.

But, as Wet Charlie can attest, bringing in a felon isn't about just about flamethrowers or spraypainting your call sign on public property. It requires subtlety of mind. Strategy. Patience. Which in most cases appears to mean you just blow up every safehouse, motel, family member's home, friend's apartment, dive bar, and campground the bail jumper might be hiding in, until he has nowhere left to hide. Then you nab 'em, and maybe later go comfort the jumper's wife and try to feel her up a little.

Rick Sloane

A former high-powered advertising executive, Rick uses his expert knowledge of demographics and marketing to lure bail jumpers into his custody. A carefully orchestrated barrage of direct mailers, bus ads, billboards, and eyeblaster pop-ups drive Rick's quarry, like hounds to the hunter, into his waiting handcuffs. Just this quarter alone, Rick's seen a 85% ROI, along with several new opportunities in foreign markets. Though most of those profits have gone into hiring 2,400 new employs to help convince his investors that his business model is scalable.

Emma Lou Fitzhugh

Armed with the ultimate weapon, her sexuality, Emma Lou dons various slutty disguises and impractical wigs to help track down her target. Then, armed with the other ultimate weapon, a harpoon, she subdues the felon for transport back to the bondsman.

For Emma, bounty hunting is a family affair, as she is often accompanied by the children she conceived after various sexy liaisons with gentleman spies, or outlaws with hearts of gold. Not that the kids provide any tactical advantage or anything. It's just difficult to find a reliable baby sitter at 2am while posing as a prostitute in a Tijuana street slum.

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russer butter

I always pack a snorkel, mask and tennis racket when I go on long trips, because the uses are endless, but then again I'm a farmer who used to be a marine biologist. I don't know what Mojo's motavations for the gear are, but I'm sure they are justified.


Well, I'd speculate that the mask is supposed to protect his eyes from the gory beat-downs he plans to give. The snorkel... is just in case he has to beat-down a shark.

russer butter

Wait a minute, Mojo had the wrong guy, he needs to check dental records. No wonder the guy didn't want to go anywhere.

Cliener von Cleanskin

Hurk has a floating tooth – commonly used by masters of disguise to evade pursuers.


It's particularly useful when eating corn.

Jonathan Wagener

The snorkel is so that he can navigate through the flood of bodily fluids after he is done with his victim...


ewwwwwww.... but, very accurate!

Original, Huh?

It's obvious that mojo uses the racket to give his target "tennis elbow" which will render the scallywag incapable of firing his gun. The mask is to keep Mojo from losing an eye to the repeated left hooks that follow and the snorkel means he wont be spitting his teeth in the his quarry's face. That wound make Hurk mad.


Whoa - I've never come across anyone who understood Mojo's brain so well!

Hey - why does Mojo keep filling my sock drawer with rubber cement? Is that like, a religious thing?

Original, Huh?

Sorry, that's not rubber cement. Purchase new socks.


Hurk packs a glock, Mojo runs a racket: a BADminton racket. About as useful as other bounty hunter tools (eg. rope lassos on jedi knights)


Jedi HATE rope. Because it's full of kryptonite.

Do I have that right?

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