Thursday, June 08, 2006

Lucky John

Lucky John

15 Minutes of Fame; 45 Minutes of Low-Heat

The other day Kim and I were watching a program on Stonehenge. Well, I was watching. Kim was entering the first stages of "prime-time pre-bedtime nap", having finished her evening itinerary (Dinner - check; Ice Cream - check). So anyway, there was one particular point in the show where the narrator suggested ceremonial sacrifice was practiced at Stonehenge, a claim supported by burial remains of a young boy who died from head trauma. Sitting safely on my couch, the thought occurred to me, I sure am glad they don't do ceremonial sacrifice anymore — I would hate to be "chosen". But then, it also occurred to me that the sacrificial victim probably felt pretty special, even though they were about to eat shit. For one glorious day, all eyes would be on little Abrungsigaard, who was sure to be remembered until the next solstice, or at least until his sacred remains were fully digested. And with this thought, I realized that ritual sacrifice does still live on, in the tradition of roasting.

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Terry Tolleson

Based on John's expression in panel 3, it looks like the non-John guy, (let's call him Piet — like Pete, only cooler), stumbled onto John's secret life story. I don't have the brain power right now to come up with something clever to describe what that is...

I don't think I would ever be psyched about being selected for death unless I volunteered to do so. If there's a sign up sheet with my ‘John Hancock’ on it, maybe... but a lottery pool for posthumous service isn't for me.


Is the company they work for a trucking company? I'm basing that on "Piet's" arm motion in the second to last panel.


I don't know whether I'm more horrified by the guy excited about his nomination for human sacrifice... or the guy excited about eating said human sacrifice.

Ol' John doesn't look too tasty to me... not fleshy enough.


I don't know... you can't tell if something will be tasty JUST by it's appearance. That picture of a banana tasted HORRIBLE.

Ara Pehlivanian

Heh, re: stonehenge and pre-bedtime nap, that's exactly how it is at our place. Right down to the documentaries I love and she loves to hate ;-)

P.S.: Nice moustachio!


Perhaps it's akin to being nominated 'Freshest Meat' in Cell Block D. There's nearly an accolade in there but at oh what a price.

Russer Butters

Kev, I find this sick and disgusting, just because someone is ritually sacrificed doesn't necessarily mean that they are going to be eaten. I have never eaten anyone I have ritually sacrificed. I was so appalled that I had to go shave my mustache so that I did not resemble Piet.

Russer Butters

Oh yes, and Stonehenge Rocks!


Perhaps competition to be the sacrificee was FIERCE! Like 'American Idol' (We just call it 'Pop Idol' here in the UK), perhaps the wannabes had to complete several challenges before they were awarded the honour.

That would certainly solve the Stonehenge Mystery. It was a giant assault course.

mr chips

*pump* *pump*...quality


Kevin, just when I thought I understood the depth of how disturbed you are...


Ara - Haha - I don't get to watch many documentaries nowadays, since Discovery Channel has decided the only thing people want to discover anymore is how to make-over vehicles.

BigA - It's a REAL morale booster to be worth 2 cartons of cigarettes, though...

Russ - Oh... I see. You're one of those half-assed sacrificers, who won't see the job through. Sheesh.

Robert - So isn't there a "UK Idol"? That's a shame. Hating "American Idol" is my form of serving my country. If only there was a "Pennsylvania Idol", so I could support my local government as well.

Malibu - Hey! I'm not the disturbed one here! What about Russ's comment!?


Great expression in the characters! And kudos on the choice of shots!


WOW! That show wasn't by chance on Discovery HD was it? I think I saw the same show!! I think it was like Tues or Wed ...anywho, VERY dark, brother Kevin, very dark. Almost like he won the lottery at work or something ... pick a number, maybe you TOO can bleed out over a stone alter in honor of the godz!


Has anyone read the short story "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson It's a Canadian highschool english class staple, and it's actually not too bad. Very dark, very much the type of lottery you don't want to win. That story is what this reminded me of.


The Jones - Thanks sir!

Greggie - It might have been, but I don't have any HD channels. It was with this guy who dressed like Indiana Jones...

Rachel - I haven't read it, but I've heard of it. It qualifies as yet another cultural landmark introduced to me by an episode of "The Simpsons".


Yes! I watched that show last night!


Dmmit! I forgot to say earlier, that if the Sacrificee competition was anything like American Idol, the eventual winner would have encountered Simon Cowell, and would then have very thick skin. L'espirt d'escalier is no good to me now. The moment has passed.

We do have Simon Cowell in the UK programme too. Now there's a guy who would benefit from ritual sacrifice...

Russer Butters

Have you ever known me to do anything half-assed? Don't answer that, there are just too many nights I can't remember from KU, but just because one is killing in the name of the gods doesn't always mean you are eating the sacrifice. Look at the AVP movie. The sacrifices there weren't eaten, they were just left to rot after they served their purpose. And in the Village the sacrifice was tossed into the woods for the scary wolf things to eat.


Omigosh! The mustachioed man's appetite was so piqued that he already ate one finger off of his own right hand!

Either that, or he's got some Simpson blood running through his veins.


Eh, the pinky is pretty much useless anyways. It'll join the Vestigial Club in the next 20,000 years or so.


are sacrifices REALLY any sillier than any modern day rituals? yeah..not really.
At least watching a dude get sacrificed was kinda cool. right..right?

Captain Purple

In one version of the St. George story a village is being harrassed by a dragon. In response (I believe upon the fire lizard's recommendation) the villagers began sacrificing a virgin to said dragon. Which leads to some questions; A] Once word gets out what is happening to the local virgins, who would admit to being a canidate for lunch and 2] how long before the supply of virgins is exhausted? I'm not positive, but I think this is where the term 'screw that' may have originated from.

Captain Purple

And remember, kids: Nothing quite as sweet as sacrificial meat!

Captain Purple

Um... not that I would know anything about sacrificing someone in a ritualistic manner and then devoring their flesh. That kind of thing is still pretty muched looked down upon in these parts. Mostly.


Dear Kevin -

You should go to State College, PA. It's where all the cool people are right now.


Cpt. Purple - I can't imagine why a dragon would want a virgin sacrifice. It SHOULD ask for the "Fattest Peasant".

MattLat - What!!? I ASKED some cool people where they were going today and they all said they were staying home and washing their hair!

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