Monday, May 29, 2006

Mojo and the Conch

Mojo and the Conch

Crisis Comes Ashore

It's quite scary to think how close mankind came to destruction. Our future lay at the whim of a simple-minded sock monkey, who — had he been capable of forethought — would have realized that destroying mankind meant shorter lines at Amusement Parks, greater odds of making it into the NBA, and many other attractive benefits. Of course, that would also mean no more humans around to prepare his beloved Beef Wellington, perpetual "designated-driver" status every time he went clubbing, and the sure sacrifice of his weekly spa treatments...

Hmmm. Maybe I don't give Mojo enough credit.

Comments on this Article

There are currently 41 comments.

[ Add one of your own! ]

Nikki Noodle


Nikki Noodle

Not sure which is cooler-- the *listen* or those awesome clouds... gorgeous simplicity


Hmmm.... while I am enthusiastic to have eager participants, I might have to start requiring the "first comment" comment to be accompanied by SOME relevant dialogue, guys :D


Oh - you posted a relevant comment while I was commenting about posting relevant comments...

Good show, Nikki!


You can just see the painful tuba noise glowing in the background. Ouch. Nice touch with the "Yes... Yes...!" vibrating seashell.


Seashells are notorious fans of brass solo work.

The Colonel

Not to mention, MOST seashells are fans of world domination and, of course, destruction.

Little known fact:
The ocean sound that comes from the conch or any large, cavernous vessel is the actually the sound of unmitigated spite. Let's face it- the hollow things hate us.

Scientifically tested, mother approved.

Ara Pehlivanian

You do realize that Mojo is just a figment of your imagination, right? ;-)


The Colonel - Seashells aren't the only hollow things that hate us. I once got my car keyed by a big-time MTV producer. ZING!

Ara - Hey, I thought the same thing about unicorns... and here I am riding one to the Pennsylvania Unicorn Rally at the convention center.

Rob Weychert

I like the new subtle variations in background color, but I'm disappointed in Mojo for obeying only the easier of the two conch commands.


You've obviously never attempted to master the tuba.


You never know, he might be carrying out the first shell's command. Those people look like they're getting pretty destroyed...


BSR - admit it, Kev - you miss my first posts which HAD relevance! ;P


One gets the impression that Mojo doesn't need some stupid Conch to tell him to destroy mankind. He'll get to it when he's damn well ready.

The Philanthropist

"Welcome to 'open mic night'. What is that a tuba and a conch shell? Brilliant! come on up here..."

Mr. T

Too bad the shell is tone deaf...

Ara Pehlivanian

Yes, but are Mojo and the Unicorn friends?

Nikki Noodle

Anders-- it's all yours. There is too much pressure in the first post.


Not wanting to be picky or anything, but it doesn't look to me like Mojo has mastered the tuba, exactly.

Which means that hollowed out sea-shells are also not too discerning when it comes to musical talent...


I guess what we see here is the process of becoming the master... The shell is already happy because it can see his plan is working. Sort of a "yes" yelling when you see someone is gonna win but hasn't won yet.


"You never know, he might be carrying out the first shell's command."

Who's to say that the first shell and the second aren't the same shell ... one in the same? **Queue evil henchman music**


Philanthropist - I think what convinced the nightclub owner was the guarantee of partial-nudity....

Nikki - But I think you did pretty fine! The pressure is in posting as "Wayne"... everyone expects perfect grammar and spelling!

Anaglyph / Murten - True... they could be "yesses" of encouragement!

Colin / Greggie - I think you guys are on to something... that second shell seems to have just taken a different tact...


just to fulfill the waynely expectations: the correct expression is "take a different tack." that's "tack," as in the sailing term, and not "tact," as in what mojo lacks.

it's a common solecism, but one that raises my hackles almost as much as the incorrect use of "beg the question."


Conch shells and tubas: rejected in favor of sharks with fricken' laser beams?



the shells were obviously working together... the second saw that the direct approach to destroying mankind didn't work, so it took a more round-about way. the solo tuba.


The problem is the audience simply doesn't understand mojo's music. See, the world isn't ready for a tuba master. At least, not yet.


"It's a common solecism, but one that raises my hackles almost as much as the incorrect use of 'beg the question.'"

Which begs the question, what is the incorrect use of 'begs the question'?
I jest! I jest!


I thought tubas had more of an "oompah" sound. Ah, perhaps Mojo's wielding an electric tuba...


"I thought tubas had more of an "oompah" sound."

That reminds me of a series of non-sensical onomatopea that appeared on a Simpsons show (see List of neologisms on The Simpsons on Wikipedia):


It might be me, but I have a hard time not to break into an unstoppable giggle everytime I see these (do you have any idea hoe hard it is to type a witty bon-mot with teary eyes?!!).


Wayne - *blink*, *blink*....

Testmonkey - It probably IS easier to attach a laser to a shark than to master the tuba. Especially if it's one of the friendlier shark species, like the Friendly Shark, or the Spotted, Bottom-Feeding Nice Shark.

Deadwonder - True - that's a good life lesson - never pick up a pair of conchs... it's a clear indicator of unscrupulous teamwork.

Jared - You're probably right. It took years for them to accept the Thighmaster.

Joesplanet - See, "Oompah" is the traditionally accepted Tuba onomatopoeia, but the true master's tuba goes "Blat". Go to this year's Tuba National Finals, and you'll see. Or hear. Probably hear.

RonaldB - Hehe - that link is bringing back a torrent of Simpsons memories, etched into my brain. Right before I die, the "life flashing before your eyes" will probably be very similar to this.


See; I knew I had to check the spelling of omota... onatomo... otonamo... forget it.


I appologize in advance:

Mojo is one shell of a tuba player!


I beg to question... I mean, differ... here are the actual standard webcomic brass instrument sounds:

Blat blah blah blat = trumpet
Haroompah pah = tuba
Hreumphereuhhh = bassoon
Proot too doo doo = saxophone
P'tisch tisch = cymbals

of course, spelling may vary according to your quaint regional dialect.


Preston - that deserves a "trumpet with a cup mute" descending note sound...

"Wa wa wa waaaaaaaahhhhhhh"

Hrombodie - Those are some EXCELLENT sound-to-text translations...

So I guess what we've learned here, is that when one masters the Tuba, they basically turn it into a trumpet....




Oh Fehnel... I can tell how frustrated you are through capitalization....


I have just noticed that Mojo has no feet!


Yeah, but he has INCREDIBLE balance. Like a pirate with two peglegs.

Yev Webber

Again, I like illustration. Thanks :)


Are we sure that Mojo isn't obeying the first conch shell?

Armageddon by tuba is still armageddon.

[ Back to Top ]

Recent Articles

[ Visit Article Archives ]

Who Carols Mojo and the Leaves MUSTACHE! The Symbol For Jerk Interpreting Excelsior Dead Love The Big Sandwich Mojo The Bounty Hunter Sketchbook 22 Live! Six-Penny Anthems II