Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Polar Woe

Polar Woe

Hard truths in a Cold Climate

With the global economy in such a slump, this is the last thing these guys need. How will they provide for their family, and for their beavers?

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Shaun Inman

Ooh, a Lumberstan, Windlumber and Lumber Mtn. origin story!

What they should do is stuff those candy canes in the wood chipper and sell the peppermint mulch that results to restaurants as after-dinner mints.


Haha - that IS totally Windhammer... he's invaded my subconscious!

Selling mints is definitely a good idea, though local restaurants would serve them as the main meal, along with a finely aged bottle of eggnog.


Candy houses don't build themselves, and witches are known to pay a hefty premium for orphan attracting building materials.

The challenge is floating the logs down river to the mill without them dissolving.


Haha - well observed, MM!

Cliener von Cleanskin

I’d like to see the tree big enough for those candy canes to decorate.


'Tis a magical tree, wondrous to behold, squirrels as big as buicks.


I'm still not sure why this is a disappointment, I think some sugar could cheer these fellas up. Maybe the disappointment is that diagonal candy cane stripes clash with lumberjack plaid.


Well, they only get their sugar in Maple Syrup form...


Paper made from candy canes? A dual threat! They can hold a wealth of wisdom and be delicious to eat. Just like Orson Welles!


And you could blame ANYONE for eating your homework, not just the dog!

Russer Butter

Are you kidding me? Candy Canes the size of trees, absolute gold mine. Just think of the novelty sales. You could sell them as Christmas Candy Canes and decorate them with miniature ornaments that look like Christmas Trees. Or you could sell them to Giants who need something to stir their Hot Chocolate with.


*gasp* So THAT'S where candy canes come from!!! I KNEW the elves couldn't've made them all, AND make all the toys, AND take care of the reindeer, AND work on the sleigh, AND keep Santa's suit tailered .... personally, I think elves really ought to unionize. Still, beats working at Walmart on Black Friday ...


Russer - Giants don't drink Hot Chocolate. They drink Children's Marrow. Maybe with a little nutmeg.

Phyllis - Oh yeah - Candy canes are pretty complex to make. I understand that Hershey's Kisses are actually strip mined in San Antonio as well.


His family, or rather his kids might be thrilled. Like when my daughter heard they were feeding those people stuck on that cruise boat "Pop-Tarts." Unless his kids are like my daughter who hates peppermint flavored candy, then they might have to only cut down the jolly rancher candy canes.


What I want to know is how they secured logging rights to Santa's property.


Shane - I would take jolly ranchers over candy canes any day. Your daughter has vision.

Mary - Well, you know how it is after you deliver presents all around the world in 24 hours... you celebrate when you get home. And you accidentally sign legal documents you'd never sign when sober.

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