Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Flight Test

Flight Test

A Bearskinrug One-Off

This is Theoretical Situation #78 in my Fear of Flying Fantasy. I'm sure this doesn't happen a lot, but I have to think it gets pretty boring in the cockpit, especially since you're no longer allowed to smoke or sexually harass the stewardess.

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hey, is this a copy of my script for "Erotical Situation #69" in my Bliss of Banging Fantasy? Seems awfuly similar, to say the least.


Well... this situation doesn't have any ball gags. It's completely different!

Cliener von Cleanskin

I find myself not trusting the pilot on the left due to his lack of moustache.


Those guys are the SPITTING IMAGE of the pilots on the last flight I took. It's uncanny.


I'm pretty sure you're still allowed to smoke the stewardess.


Cliener - I still trust him. I just doubt his ability to laugh danger in the face.

Bananaglyph - I hired two pilots to capture the essence of realism. Notice the authentically-rendered Pilot's XBox as well.

Applest Photo - Zing! Take that... uh... cigarettes!



I was suffering from a pretty down day, but this just pulled me up to where I belong! Hey, I might actually have those to pilots flying my emotional plane. Either that or I'm pregnant - which will be weird seeing I'm a man.

I'm going to go get a test anyway... be right back!


Glad to be of service, Opsraak! ;)


This would make more sense if the moustache pilot was wearing a skirt... there aren't any rules about harassing co-pilots, right?


Oooh - clever, Mary! You're just the kind of new blood the FAA needs... someone who can think around corners and blur gender lines!


>>Notice the authentically-rendered Pilot's XBox as well.

I know you are a highly paid illustrating-type dude and all, so I don't want to argue with your expertise, but I thought it was an 8-track cartridge player. They look like the kind of guys who'd have one.


Well, I just assume they'd do a barrel roll. Ohhhh, Starfox.


Planes can't barrel roll! They have no wheels! Or dry goods!


Planes don't have wheels?! What are those round thingies they put down to land on?! Oh, this changes my entire outlook!


Those are called aero-feet.


Ah, that would explain why it's called a runway ....

*crickets* *cough*


*scratches neck uncomfortably... looks around at angry audience*


ZOMFG I share the feeling. I distinctively recall a short flight I had to take while touring Venezuela, where the guys in the REALLY small plane left the rear windows open for a good while because we didn't have air conditioning. I bet those same guys must have also done this at least once.


Yikes - I didn't realize you COULD open plane windows! Although... I guess in a small plane that makes sense.


Love the style on this one. It feels very 1960s: half New York cartoon, half Mad Magazine. How do you do it? Your talent makes angels weep.

Also: great joke.


It's a shame that only the rich can afford airplane convertibles. Or airplanes in general.


Airplanes should come down in price a little once scientists perfect magic.


Need I say anything....its hilarious!

David Chapman

I was once one of two passengers in a VERY small airplane, from nowhere to nowhere in Alaska. As we approached a pass -- the plane was unable to fly high enough to clear the mountains, so we had to snake through passes -- the pilot twisted around in his seat and started searching around on the floor behind him. Entirely ignoring the fact that we were now about a hundred feet above the ground, and leaving the plane to fly itself. Eventually he located a can of Lemon Pledge, which he sprayed all over the windshield. He turned back around and spent another minute or two locating a roll of paper towel, which he proceeded to mop the glass with. His hands were off the controls (and his eyes facing behind and on the floor) all the way through the pass. I expect this was for effect; a gimmick to impress the tourists. I was impressed. Or something.


This gives me an idea... a gas station in the sky!


Does such things as "a Lemon Pledge" really exist in this world?


Oh - definitely! I put it on my ice cream!

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