Thursday, October 04, 2007

Bigfoot Spotted!

Bigfoot Spotted!

This Scene Is Fictional

The real Bigfoot, of course, wouldn't be reading a human's tabloid paper. He obviously would read some tabloid with a core audience of Sasquatches, or perhaps even other mythical monsters. With headlines like "Smallfoots Seen On Mountain! In Rolling Metal Boxes!", or "Mysterious Creatures Beyond Loch Ness! Men and Women Alike Donning Colorful Plaid Skirts!".

Anyway, for any of this to be true, there would have to be special, monster-exclusive supermarkets hidden throughout the world, or where else could the creatures get their tabloids? Which proves this is all just obvious fiction, because the very idea of a retailer with minimal market exposure, catering to a diminishing demographic, supporting a global distribution network, specializing in monster-related foodstuffs and luxury goods while remaining a completely privately-owned company is absolutely preposterous.

I mean... COME on... right?

Comments on this Article

There are currently 29 comments.

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Brent O'Connor

Kevin, your logic seems flawless!

Ara Pehlivanian

I knew it! I knew Bigfoot was real!

And by the way, that's really funny. Good one :-)


I love it when there is something in the water that makes the same themes pop up in random places. The other day, my wife and I kept hearing and seeing references to cupcakes. Now you and Dan Piraro are channeling Bigfoot and whores!

Love it!


Brent - Can you put that in a notorized letter for me, and send it to my wife?

Ara - Oh, he's real. Didn't you ever see Harry and the Hendersons?

DH - WOW.... that's a pretty amazing coincidence. I wrote this comic a long time ago, and it just sat around until yesterday, when finally decided it was postable. And HIS comic is like an explanation of how Bigfoot got in that tabloid!


I like that Mrs. Bigfoot's a traditional woman. With the apron and stirring spoon and all. But where be the pearl necklace? Or is she a post-modernist traditionalist? Can anyone even be a post-modernist traditionalist?


Well perhaps it is the other way around and you really had it right in your drawing, and big foot DOES indeed have to read our newspapers only he has to get the ones left behind by campers.

My second comment was that as soon as I saw this drawing it reminded me of an old movie called Harry and the Hendersons...

then I saw you made a refrence to that movie later in your coments back to "Ara"


Monstermart. Ghostco. Wholefoods. There's three monster-based retail outlets in my area and that's only the ones within walking distance.

Research, Cornell. Research!

Actually, now that I think of it, Wholefoods may not be aiming exclusively towards the mythical market. But the kids walking in and out of there certainly have a kind of ghoulish tint to them. Or maybe they just need some red meat in their diet.

Manuel Martensen

I wonder why he brought that newspaper home in the first place. Sick of Mrs. Housewifey?


Heh. Bigfoot is sure sleeping on the couch tonight. I wonder if Mrs B gets around to using the spoon in some violent fashion.... hmmm.. .. ok, I'll stop now.

The Colonel

No wonder we have a hard time finding him... the wife's always on his case about hanging out with his woodland friends and not spending enough time with her!

Hell hath no fury like a Bigfootress' wrath. Wait, should that be Bigfootette? She-foot?

Captain Purple

I find your lack of faith disturbing.


to which big foot's witty and burning retort to her is " your mother " and he quickly regrets it as the wooden spoon is forced through his thick sternum with the strength of 40 men.

Moral " if you are married to some one with the stength of 40 men it dosent matter if you have the strength of 80 men she can still push a wooden spoon through your sternum. "

Also keep your mouth shut.


Testmonkey - I think of her more as a modern post-traditionalist modernist, with slight tendencies towards traditional kitchen utensils.

Shane - So he's always probably a day or two behind on the news, huh? I regret taking his stock tips now.

Pierce - Haha... this had me laughing for a while :D

Manuel - Yeah... this is just a taste of the problems this marriage has had. But what do you expect from a celebrity marriage.

Dibyo - I imagine that Bigfoot sleeping on a couch creates a lot of static electricity. Especially if it's a fitful sleep, which it most certainly is on the couch.

Colonel - She needs to get some woodland friends of her own. What about those nice badgers from next door?

Captain - You know... I AM starting to doubt that you're actually purple...

Artbeard - See - why can't more stories have morals applicable to real life, like that? This could have saved me expensive sternum replacement surgery.

Leaf, probably...

I think that this supermarket would have to be an online one, considering that most of these creatures seem to be so reclusive.

Russer Butter

"Monsters" if you really want to call them that, have to do their shopping to you know. I never remember Nessy having any problems going to the corner grocery shop back when I was living on the lock, but they did usually have to replace the front sliding doors after he had burst through them, too impatient in his pursuit of the canned sardine special every Friday.

Mountain Gnome

What is intriguing to me is: The photo in the tabloid, is he sitting having a quiet pint with Paris Hilton in the pub? if so couldn't he have chosen a more discreet place for a tete-a-tete considering they're both paparatzi targets? This then also brings up the question, do monsters have their own exclusive pubs?
hmm food for thought
@DH: great connectivity!
@Bearskinrug: another good cartoon!


The whole thing is starting to sound like an M. Night Shyamalan production.


When I looked at this cartoon really quickly I thought that the misses (missus?) was yelling at Bigfoot while he was on the John.

If this is the case then it is clearly not the best seat in the Bigfoot house anymore...


When I looked at this cartoon really quickly I thought that the misses (missus?) was yelling at Bigfoot while he was on the John.

If this is the case then it is clearly not the best seat in the Bigfoot house anymore...

andrew h

oh that's real alright...
and what the hell is my wife doing with that bigfooted bastard!




Meet Lance, the hermit. Lance lives in the forest, far away from civilization. To keep himself occupied, Lance writes, edits and prints many publications for the forest creatures. Such as The Squirrel Daily, The Sasquatch Tribune and The Bigfoot Times. Not only does this reward Lance with an opportunity to remain occupied, it also offers him such joys as winning the Fallen Tree Award for best non-fiction writing, five years in a row.


Love the Bigfoot's smile on the paper.
To be PC she should be his new lady friend!


i think you're not giving these guys enough credit. considering big foot and sasquatch, and all those other "mythical" monsters have kept themselves relatively hidden for such a long time, i imagine they've gotten quite good at keeping their news and food sources under wraps as well.

and i'm still convinced all those people and pets who've gone missing without a trace... yeah, i'm pretty sure they're working for these guys.


Please make this into a print, it would look great at work at my desk!


Opspraak - Haha - NICE :D

Eric - Yeah... He's pretty happy to be having his picture taken!

Martha - I suppose I have been kind of harsh. I'd send them a gift basket of fruit if I knew where to send it...

Pedro - Haha - aren't desks meant for pictures of family? Are you letting out a secret! ;)


Kevin, I hate to say it, but your cartoon bears a striking resemblance to Gary Larson's famous Jane Goodhall cartoon from a few years back.

A classic example of two minds taking two paths to the same destination, I fear.


Between this Far Side cartoon, and the Dan Piraro cartoon, it seems I've treaded on two feet.

Writing one-panel comics feels very much like trying to scrape the last bits of peanut butter from inside a jar.


My immediate reaction was "Ah, good ol' Far Side humor". Nevertheless, it is good to see that absurd minds are alive and well.

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