Monday, July 02, 2007

Mojo And The Vase

Mojo And The Vase

Truths in Trauma

Though it appears much less traumatic when it happens in movies, television and vaudeville skits, getting hit in the head with a vase is probably pretty dangerous. All the vases in the Cornell household definitely seem sturdy enough to concuss a head. I believe a vase filled to the brim with water would have quite a bit of momentum behind it, and probably enough force that it's not worth the comedic trade-off of letting it hit your face.

Luckily, a sock monkey head, packed loosely with fluff, can survive even the most severe impacts. You could probably make a case that the Sock Monkey is the most resilient of all members of the Primate order. Except the Giant Ape, which can survive a 101-story fall. But not a 102-story fall. What a shame.

Comments on this Article

There are currently 31 comments.

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Filip Salomonsson

Eh. He said 'banana'.

I thought of Mojo when I saw this. I wonder what Mojo looks like on the inside. Does he have one? I think he might be a Möbius Sock Monkey.

andrew hollister

"ba- poot!"

fantastic. literary genius.


Filip - Wow - I think I'd much rather have a teddy bear like that then a regular teddy bear.

Uh... not that I have a teddy bear.

I'm a grown man. The only thing I cuddle up to in bed are my guns, and my lawncare equipment.

Andrew - Haha - That was actually Lew starting to say bananas, and then the POOT of the vase! Do I lose my Caldecott?

andrew hollister

there is absolutely nothing wrong with a guy having a teddy bear. so long as you (and the bear) each have switch blades. and not those fonzie comb ones... those are for dorks with feathered hair.


What if I have an indian headdress? Can I still have a fonzie comb?


wow, this is one offensive comment thread. Offensive to Indian Headdresses. Offensive to vases. And most of all, offensive to bananas.

Let's think of the children, gentlemen!


I'm not worried about offending bananas. I doubt a banana can destroy me in retribution.

So... if there's any bananas out there... you can go to banana hell.


Is Lewis just learning to read? That looks like 'sounding it out' to me.

andrew hollister

i know of no lawyer that would take on a slip and fall case against a banana. those slick bastards have ruthless union representation.

AND they have serious jungle connections. best to carry a switchblade to guard against those evil yellow monkey treats...


you (plural) make me laugh. thank you.

no really, from the bottom of my heart.

Russer Butter

What I want to know is how high are the ceilings in Mojo and Lewis's place? That vase looked like it came strait down, and from another room, odd?


I think the skylight was open.


Ian - heheh - NICE :D

Andrew - I'm beginning to suspect you're a switchblade salesman!

Swift - Excellent - thanks swift :D

Russer / Monkeyinabox - Hehe - in BOTH rooms.


Ah, so that must be why the European Union have a law on the statute books limiting the height of skyscrapers in zoos to 101 stories. You wouldn't beleive some of the nightmares we have getting planning permission.


WHAT is mojo doing in the second panel???


Robert - It's all for the best. Though the Giant Ape population is much lower in Europe than on say... Giant Ape Island.

Aelith - he's thinking! Maybe I should indicate that with some "wheel spinning" sounds...


So, this is my take on the physics of the matter:

Mojo walks in, swipes the tablecloth, vase goes flying, lands on second floor, rolls down the hall in a curve (due to the vase's tapered foot), falls straight down onto Lewis' head. This is dependent upon them living in an open plan living space, where the second floor balustrade overlooks the reading area. All one big room with 24 foot ceiling, and visual divisions being supplied by variant wallpapers. There is undoubtedly a break in the balustrade, from Mojo's attempt to knock off Kevin "Get Shorty" style. Luckily, neither Lewis nor Kevin were injured in that event, as the cream colored comfy chair has not been moved either before or since, and Lewis was up fetching a banana.

Or perhaps the skylight was open, as earlier suggested.


Mojo is the one who destroyed the balustrade? Dastard fool!


If I were Lewis I'd be spending my days in a football helmet.


well then, in addition to the wherling sound you should draw the vase falling between pannels.. as that is what actually happened.


Or maybe the vase disappeared in a puff of logic while Mr. Rumpleskin, (Thats the name I gave him in my head) was provin that black was white a Zebra came and grabbed the vase out of the logic, and threw it on Mr. Rumpleskin in anger.


BigA - So you feel Lewis wasted his life by not taking that 18-million a year contract from Green Bay?

Mr. Fishie

Did Mojo become a better Mojician or did he just plot a murder? (the classic killing a man with a vase routine)

If it was murder, I'd say Mojo must have some GREAT aim, getting it threw both skylights and all!


I can imagine someone yelling: "Hoooooraaaay ceilings! Woo-hoo! Ceilings are number one!!!"

It must be what caused the shifting in trajectory of the vase.

Terry Tolleson

That tear in the den's wallpaper is getting out of control.


Mr. Fishie - Mojo will NEVER be a better magician. Unless Paul teaches him, of course.

Mork - I didn't realize there were ceiling enthusiasts out there. Must be all those guys in the neck trauma ward.

Terry - Well... it's at least better than that Portal To Hell on the third floor. You know... that broken bidet?


A simple enthusiast could not deflect the path of Mojo's vase. However...

A CEILING FAN WOULD! Aaaahhhh ha ha ha -haaacckk- (cough)


Haha - I get it, now :D

Terry Tolleson

wow, Mork. That really paid off (and was funny!).

i am jealous of your set-up

Captain Purple

Kevin, you need to be more careful what you say about bananas, they travel in bunches.

And to Mr. Hollister and his comment; the bananas always win their case... through appeal!


Oh MAN.... see, this is what happens if I don't get the next post up within a week. All the bad puns start rolling in!

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