Tuesday, April 10, 2007

North Pole

North Pole

Man the Intellectual Idiot

It's funny to think how much safer life might be for man if he wasn't so smart. I mean, we use our brains to identify all kinds of unique physical phenomena — the tallest mountain, the deepest ocean, the exact top of the earth — and then feel compelled to go to these locations, even though there's almost always a high risk of mortality. And if everything goes as planned, you leave a flag.

A stupid man, without any understanding of geography, could probably skip the trip to dangerous locations altogether and still find satisfaction in the planting of a flag. Any time he needed a psychological boost— PLOIK! Flag in the ground. In this ideal world, Stupid Man would step outside his home, and instantly be stimulated by a riot of colorful rippling fabrics, all his worries wiped away in a fit of hand-clapping and drooling laughter.

I'd like to suggest that we all work towards being a little dumber. I think in the long run, it will benefit humanity as a whole. I'm not saying so dumb that chimps take over our cities, but maybe a nice in-between area, where every crossword puzzle is solvable, and I can eat cereal straight out of the box.

Comments on this Article

There are currently 23 comments.

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Somejeff

Economy teacher in 2035:
"Here, we see the average stupid man wondering if the pole tastes like peppermint. After 2010, we evolved and grew winter fur on our tongues. This is why we today, the Lick-A-Schick shaver company is #1"

bearskinrug

Oh my! Think of all the wondrous things we can lick in the future!

Terry Tolleson

Chimps? Or Sock Monkeys?

I agree that a little more dumb with regard to such pursuits as traveling to the coldest place on earth, where oxygen exists at a premium to almost require scuba gear, would be more beneficial to mankind.

Just because you topped a big rock, doesn’t necessarily make you more a man than me. It just means you found a use for those 40 below K2 Overboots you got from your Aunt Sweedy after her trip to El Azizia. Wait… what?

bearskinrug

Just because you topped a big rock, doesn’t necessarily make you more a man than me.

Especially since the scrotum tends to shrink in cold weather.

testMonkey

All we need to complete the image is a butch lady soldier with a cigarette hanging half out of her mouth pointing and laughing at these dudes stuck to the pole.

...which leads me to believe we are well on our way to that happy in-between dumb area you propose.

Shane

I never noticed how much of a boost sticking a flag in the ground did for me...

I need to start doing that more often, and randomly.

Maybe thats why people write on bathroom walls as well, they just want people to know they were their, and that they conquered...something.

Rob Weychert

I celebrate Columbus Day each year by claiming one of my neighbors' homes for Spain.

bearskinrug

Testmonkey - So what you're saying is... smoking makes us smarter?

Shane - EXCELLENT observation! That's probably the same reason they get urine everywhere but in the bowl.

Rob - Is it possible I got my smallpox from you, then?

MattLat

I have a feeling that Santa deals with these guys regularly.

He runs out of his house and goes "ho ho HO!" and then with a bit of his magic, turns them into short little slaves to do his bidding.

Hugh G.

Sadly, acting dumb comes a little too easy for this cowboy.

Steve Lindstrom

I find that when I'm eating a meal of some sort with my chums that I'm usually victorious in annexing their food when I plant my finger in it.

SPLAT!

"Still want it? Didn't think so..."

bearskinrug

MattLat - I always figured he just rounded up castratos looking for a career change. How wrong I was.

Hugh G. - Do you feel you're happier than most other cowboys?

Steve - Does that work with organs? I wouldn't mind upgrading to a younger set of kidneys.

Gerren

NIce line weight in this one.

So, how did they all get stuck at the same time? Were they trying to lift the pole out of the ground using only their tongues?

The Colonel

"...this locations..."?

Has Mojo been asleep at the editor's desk again? ;)

bearskinrug

Gerren - I suspect they just couldn't resist their instinct to taste success.

Colonel - He's fired and YOUR hired. You get his weekly banana stipend as well.

monkeyinabox

Colonel - you are lucky indeed.

Gerren

Hehehe, that is funny. Do you guys work for peanuts as well?

POPO

If any of the 5% who managed to return from the North Pole are among the readership of this fine site, I ask that you come forward and settle the debate once and for all.

Is Mrs. Claus hot or not?

jveeg

I just watched the movie "idiocracy" and it seem like that is the future your asking for. It's not a good movie so i'm sorry to anyone who rents it.

charles

I think this image is fallacious. That's not the North Pole at all. You've actually just depicted the "ManTrap", one of a polar bear's standard meal-obtainment tools.

Russer Butter

I wouldn't call those poor chaps up there at the pole stupid, or too intelligent as they decided to seek adventure outside the bounds of their own yard, but I will say that they lost faith. You see a pole like that at the north pole only appears to those who believe in Santa Claus, but if they had really truly believed then Jolly Old Saint Nick would have saved them.

bearskinrug

I didn't realize Santa could be so cutthroat. Maybe this year I'll get HIM a present...

lydia

Ha ha that's so funny i laughed out loud again like i always do when i'm looking at this site. Often I remember a particularly funny drawing then randomly laugh out loud in public and it makes me look crazy! But at least i'm a happy crazy person and that's all that matters. (Also thanks for creating the charles arthur showdown. I used it as artists research for my foundation course and it looks great in my black pad). :) My teachers really like your work, too.

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