Tuesday, March 27, 2007

New York City Mountain

New York City Mountain

An Ambidextrous Comic

I know I make it look pretty glamorous here, but riding on a bus isn't really all that exciting. Though I have to admit, riding on a commercial bus is much more exciting than riding on a school bus. And truthfully, there's less chance of getting beaten up while on the commercial bus. Though your risk increases if the bus is in New York City. Or if you keep pointing and yelling like the two idiots above.

I'd say, the perfect bus ride is a pretend bus ride, if you follow these precautions:

Don't imagine anyone scary or smelly sitting next to you.
Try to keep from pretending that the bus drives off a cliff, or into a nitro-glycerin plant.
If your bus gets booby-trapped and can't slow down or else it would explode, imagine that you have rocket boots that allow you to fly out of the bus safely. I don't recommend taking any of the other passengers with you — I'm not sure the boots can support any extra weight.

Have fun! Maybe I'll pass you on the way. I'll be piloting the imaginary hovercraft pulled by a sled team of dragons.

Comments on this Article

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This just in: first!!!

I just rode a very real train with a bunch of very real, noisy school children. I tried to pretend I was on a mountain top, all by myself; it didn't work though.


Maybe you needed to pretend the children were on the mountain, and you were on the train. Whaddya think?


The great thing about growing up in NYC and taking the public buses to school everyday was that it was very much like sitting in on other people's imaginary bus rides. I'd say 85% of those on the bus thought they were somewhere else and they weren't shy about sharing this with those around them.


Hehehe - you have entertained me. :D


Maybe you needed to pretend the children were on the mountain, and you were on the train.
Neh; I wouldn't want to do that to the poor mountain goats.


Uhm... © 2006?


Whoops! Forgot to update the credit line.

Or maybe... I traveled back in time and posted this comic...?

John Nick

I like how Ambi-2, who exhausts Ambi-1 with stalwart whimsy, is NOT the originator of the "imaginary bus" scenario.

This way it shows how differing creative aesthetics may ultimately war with each other, creating a winner and a loser.

If Ambi-2 had originated the flight (or bus ride) of fancy AS WELL AS introduced stubborn adherence to the unreal, it would've created an overall WE vs. THEY feeling that's so prevalent in what passes for comedy on American TV.

Oh, did I mention I'm now ass-less from LMAO?



The best thing about an imaginary bus is that you don't have to worry about anyone puking on it.


John Nick - Third volume? Well, not until the second Mojo Book is done :D

Erik - Wow - how often does that happen to you?

The Ancient ONe

I once road a school bus with lots of noisy children that were incredibly smelly. I imagined that i was on a mountain and then i discovered that the children were there too. So i switched mountains. But they followed me everywhere i went. I was glad when i got off that bus though. Only to find that they followed me off the bus. I hit myself and found that it was indeed real life (sometimes it's hard to tell). When I got home they just walked into my house. That was when i found out that they were my kids. I've never heard the end of it.


Erik: Well, I was that kid --the kid that puked on the bus in kindergarten. Sorry for the mental anguish. If you can no longer eat grapes I understand.

Kevin: Thanks a lot. Now I can't get on a bus without the very natural fear of crashing into a nitro-glycerin plant. Sheesh.


I'd rather just pop my old Kris Kross tape in the boombox and blast "I Missed The Bus" while all you other suckas have to ride it, pretend or not.


I so had that tape. "...I will never ever ever do again!" Classic.


The Ancient One - I had the same problem when I couldn't escape this wretched chemical smell, no matter where I went in the house. It turns out I had a gas leak. Man I miss that house.

Testmonkey - Don't worry. There's very few nitro-glycerin plants around anymore, now that we can manufacture much more effective explosives.

Monkeyinabox - Hey - How do you go to the bathroom when your pants are on backwards?

The Colonel

It's rather hard to imagine riding bus without a babbling hobo, or a saucy old woman giving me bedroom eyes.

I don't mind, though... Betty White's totally hot.


Betty White? Don't you mean Rue McClanahan?

I always pictured you falling for an oversexed septuagenarian, Colonel...


I go to New York two or three times a year, and usually I take the bus down (from Boston). Last month I went to the New York Comic Con 2007 (which was great, I got to meet Stan “the Man” Lee). I was so sick of taking the bus down that I decided to just suck it up and spend twice as much for a train ticket. I figured there would be more room, it wouldn’t take as long, and there would be food and coffee on board…. it was great at first, but then on the way back home BAM! We hit a deer. That’s right, we manage to slam into Bambi with a 50 ton piece of steel going 90 miles an hour.

You would think that would be like hitting a fly in an SUV, right? That we would just keep going like nothing happened. Nope. The train engine was completely damaged and we had to wait for another train to tow us to the next station. It took 11 hours to get home. Next year I’m hitch hiking.

The Colonel

As detailed here (number 7) my love for Ms. White goes WAY back. A distinguished gentleman such as myself needs a lady of class and sophistication. Ms. McClanahan was always a bit too skanky for my tastes.

Besides, she never laughed at any of my poo jokes.


Gerren - Remember to bring along some naive sexy teens. According to the movies, those are the most successfully picked-up hitchhikers. Or picked-apart. I get those two words confused.

Colonel - I see your point. Betty probably has healthier blood tests, too.


Here in Brazil many country children walk to school pretending they are in a bus. Don’t think they are sad, it really works. Children can have fun anyway…


Instead of rocket boots, I just imagine that Keanu Reaves is on the bus, and he is talking like he does in every movie he's ever been in since Bill & Ted's excellent Adventure.

Oh yeah and Sandra Bullock too. It's a scary ride but in the end Keanu saves the day!

"I am an FBI agent"
Whoever can name taht movie gets EXTRA bonus points!


Paulinho - Aha! Perhaps that means the two Ambidextrous fellows are Brazilian schoolchildren! Hmmm... which means they've been truant this whole time.

Shane - Is it "Point Break"? Can I direct my bonus points towards a large cash prize?

Randy Johnson

I like pretending that someone is prentending me, like Kurt Russel in Vanilla Sky. How do I know I'm not in someones imagination. Maybe you are imagining me writing this right now.



Say... do you mind if I imagine you baking me a cake?


DIng! Ding!

You WIN! However at this time the bonus points can not be refunded for cash they can only be redeemed for pats on the back which is done with your own hand at any given time throughout the remainder of the week.

the good news is those bonus points are good for an unlimited amount of pats on the back, the only other option is a hi five on demand for the next month.


Am I the only one who read this comic and thought of the scene in European Vacation when Clark is stuck in the roundabout and says "Look kids, Big Ben... Parliament..." about 400 times?

This one qualifies as an Awesome Comic, BTW.


Shane - Can I trade in my high-fives for frequent flier miles?

Steve - Heh, heh, heh... I haven't seen that movie in a long time :D


I would not recommend using the imaginary bus's bathroom. That being said, I'm off to the store to pick up a bottle or Resolve.



Who do you think I am Capital One...


i love this! made me laugh out loud... and i really needed that right now!

so thanks, mr. rug.


Anytime, Martha! :D

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