Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Gardeners

Gardeners

An Ambidextrous Comic

I've never had any particular aspirations to plant a garden. I don't get too much of a kick out of flowers, and while I like the idea of a vegetable garden, so do the 50,000 woodland creatures that skulk about my house. I'd be lucky to cultivate one vegetable that reaches maturity before Mr. Chuck (the woodchuck living in my front yard) gets his greedy little paws on it. Why can't the damn Waffles bark at him all day, scare him off my property?

The one plus about being gardenless is that I don't have to weed the garden I'm less of. I remember weeding as a child, and I found it to be a tedious and unfulfilling job. Of course, back then I was on a LOT of sugar, so anything that meant concentrating for 10 sequential seconds ranked a 9.5 on the Bore-ometer.

Yeah, that's right. A device for measuring boredom.

Not to be confused with a Barometer, which measures barometric pressure.

Good for predicting sudden shifts in air pressure, which could indicate anything from thunderstorms to hurricanes.

Right up there with weeding on the Bore-ometric scale.

Comments on this Article

There are currently 21 comments.

[ Add one of your own! ]

AE

Just a note to say, OMG I GOT THE FIRST COMMENT..er..I mean, great strip!

Seriously tho, Gardening is not big in the AE household either, and remarkably the stuff refuses to die. A garden gnome or two could help the weeds cope, I guess..

Another great lesson to learn from Ambidextrous. (I wear gloves now everytime I lick my foot)

John Nick

4:04am???

Kev, have the monsters under the bed ratcheted things up a notch?

But hey, no matter. Great strip, great artist's statement, and WAFFLES!!!

I loves me that photo of the Waffles.

Do you have secret names for your two Ambidextrous? Left and Right? Marx and Engels? Mulder and Scully?

bearskinrug

No secret names! They'll forever be nameless! :D

Dibyo

hey! they're ambidextrous, not anonymous!

bearskinrug

Heh, hehe ... ;D

wayne

kevin might not have secret names for them, but i think of them as dexter and sinister. of course, i also think of kevin as ensign bartholomew g. hotpants.

bearskinrug

OHHHHHhhhhhh..... now I understand the monogram on that sweater you gave me.

Terry Tolleson

Panel 5 is my favorite... something very Winnie-the-Pooh about it. "Think, think, think... Oh bahtha..."

I really like the concept that garden gnomes are planted, grown and harvested for the fall sacrifice... erm... that they are planted and grown, that's all...

The Colonel

My experience with weeding has been more one of angrily hacking and swinging at the ground with a pick-ax, or some sort of large blade on a stick.

Not so good for vegetable gardens, but, a GREAT aerobic workout.

Nikki Noodle

I thought the-character-annonymously-known-as-X was talking about elves. Is there a difference between elves and gnomes? Perhaps the seasons in which they appear??

Terry Tolleson

Gnomes are more like dwarves, only smaller and living in wooded areas, rather than mountains and caves.

The common visage of an elf is akin to Legalos, in Lord of the Rings. Sometimes, they are smaller, but they average on height with humans.

Next week, on Nerdy Fantasy Lore, we learn about Moogles from the popular Final Fantasy series of games.

anaglyph

Ah, but the beauty of the increase in barometric pressure (hence the likelihood of storms/rain) is that it is inversely proportional to the likelihood of having to go into the garden and weed.

When I did have garden, a big 25 acre garden, it had a LOT of weeds. Serrated tussock, it was called, a nice present to Australia from the South Americans. Whenever it looked like rain I was overjoyed that I might get an excuse not to go and deal with it.

You ain't seen boredom until you've seen 10 acres of unweeded serrated tussock.

anaglyph

Oh, and actually, I did have a gnome. Really.

bearskinrug

Colonel - So weeding for you is more akin to bludgeoning, or dismembering a corpse? Interesting....*gulp*

Nikki - Aren't these guys elves?

Terry - I liked last week's episode when we went over the origins of the Install Wizard.

Anaglyph - Yeoch... anything with "Serrated" in the name sounds like a particular dangerous weed to pull! You should have forced the gnome to pick it... :D

kevinfitz

i think they're looking to biuld a christmas tree farm...

anaglyph

The gnome never did much else but lean on his shovel.

joesplanet

I think the U.S. tried to convert to the Boreometric scale back in the 70's. But the units confused people.

irene

We had a particularly bountiful vegie patch when I was little, and my mum heard that chicken poo was great fertilizer and that chickens loved eating snails, so she decided to improve the garden by aquiring some. It turned out that the chickens also loved vegies and our vegie patch was turned into a barron wasteland in a matter of weeks. And my poor mum was terribly allergic to them. The lesson here? Chickens ruin everything

bearskinrug

I don't know, Irene... they VASTLY improve Fried Chicken....

RonaldB

As a non-native english speaker, I was wondering about the pronunciation of "boreometer": would that be "boar-oh-meter", or rather "boar-EE-oh-meter"? In the former case, "borometer" would probably be a more convenient spelling, but... oh, nver mind.

bearskinrug

Good question! I imagine it to read "boar - ah - meter"... although to most people it probably reads as "boar-EE-oh-meter", like you mention above.

[ Back to Top ]

Recent Articles

[ Visit Article Archives ]

Who Carols Mojo and the Leaves MUSTACHE! The Symbol For Jerk Interpreting Excelsior Dead Love The Big Sandwich Mojo The Bounty Hunter Sketchbook 22 Live! Six-Penny Anthems II