Monday, June 19, 2006

Ambidextrous, Collection II.

Ambidextrous, Collection II.

The Second Coming

Fresh from the proofing stage, Ambidextrous, Collection II is ready for public consumption! You won't be able to put down this new installment of humor, globular heads, and infrequent appearances by people in hats — I know I sure can't! Because it's stapled to my hands! Because I bewitched our stapler, using the magic that I learned from Harry Potter books.

Did you ever read any of those? Oh my stars! They're FANTASTIC! I could read them over and over. That time Harry had to face the basilisk? Shit — I was on the edge of my seat!

Why you'll LOVE Collection II...

How about the one where Harry and Ron go into the Dark Forest, and are surrounded by the Acromantulas? Giant spiders!!!? NO THANKS! I would have let Hagrid rot in Azkaban. Or the one where Harry's in the Tri-Wizard cup, and has to face all that pressure from the magical media, the students and the wizarding community in general? I would crumble in a second. Man, that kid is pretty brave.

More Professor Panda! More flying pie!

But I think of all of them, my favorite was the last book, Half-Blood Prince. There was so much exposition, but I actually PREFER exposition to action. I'm not sure exactly why; perhaps because you get so many of your questions answered at once. Anyway, this next book comes out in I think a year and a half. I can't wait — I think it's the last one. It's do or die time for Voldemort, I tell you that much.

So, definitely, if you have the cash, get yourself the full set of Harry Potter books. They are super entertaining, and the kind of book that you just get lost in. Just a really special set of stories.


Oh shit.

Comments on this Article

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Terry Tolleson

But have you read A Series of Unfortunate Events?

Harry Potter is likely my all-time fave "children's" series. Fantastic bit of work there. A couple of absolute lame moments, but overall - spot on story telling. I really get into the chapters where Quidditch is involved. Very action packed, very dramatic.


Russer Butters

Rejoice, something more to read with all this free time on my hands, being unemployed and all.

John Nick

Ye don't fool me, ye rascal.

Yer tryin' to trick Google into leading unwittin' Potterites to yer page here.

Dastardly stuff -- but I loves the dastardly, I do. So let me give ye a hand: SEX BOOBIES HOT MONKEY ACTION

Meantime, KA-CHING, I just bought my VOLUME 2! Can't wait -- though I'm still recovering from the broken ribs incurred from bellylaughing at VOLUME 1.

Perhaps I'll gird my thorax in kevlar or self-hardening chocolate fudge prior to perusing yer latest.


You know Kevin, your starting to remind me of Precious Roy a little bit.


Terry - I don't know... I'm not crazy about sports, even made up ones, so the Quidd—


Russer - Ah, Russer. Technically, I'd say sperm donation is kind of employment.

John Nick - Awesome! You certainly know how to accentuate a dastardly plan! Harry Potter fans who are interested in Boobies and Hot Monkey Action don't stand a CHANCE...

Nat - Hmmmm - Pirate Cripplers... that's a GREAT idea! And once they got rid of the pirates, I could have them work on my dam!


Hooray! Another Collection!


Hows that check from Scholastic doing tucked away in your pocket? Maybe you can buy some dignity with it! Ouch!


[not allowed to talk about harry potter...not allowed to talk about harry potter...not allowed to talk about harry potter...not allowed to talk about harry potter...]

thanks for making me hurt my tongue by biting it so much.

you should have had a subtitle for this collection. "ambidextrous II: on the other hand"


Must Buy... Must Complete... The Shrine.


referrer: google \n
search string[0]: hot monkey action \n
search string[1]: harry nude \n
search string[2]: hermione and harry nude \n
search string[4]: hermione monkey action \n
host resolved:



Kevin obviously just finished reading the new "H4(|{20r'$ 337 913 70 90093"


Kevin, I seriously laughed harder at this post than any of your comics...i know that doesn't sound good...but good.?

anyway, i love you.
and i want to buy your book, but sutter i don't have to. i am sucha cheap bastard!

long live Dumbledor!!!! oh..wait..=(


BigA - I like that enthusiasm! Your book's gonna come with extra comics, Big-A!

Sutter - You can't BUY dignity. You buy a big sports car and drive around LA, and then you use that to build up your dignity.

Wayne - If you'd like, I can have Mojo bite your tongue, for a small fee. It's a pleasant feeling, like when a "love-swipe" from a cat, or a hip check from a favorite Hockey superstar.

Zombiefactory - Hmmm - maybe I'll consider producing those "Lewis P. Monkey" votive candles he proposed. They'd work great in a small shrine!

Testmonkey - Hahah - NICE :D

Malibu - Oh... um... yes? I didn't realize that was the actual title!

Niffernaut - So the key to entertaining you is Harry Potter humor, eh? I'll think of some good broomstick jokes...

the Brightside

Wayne, I'd like to inject a little Latin nerdery into your comment by suggesting the subtitle be appended to "The Other Right Hand." In which case we could retroactively subtitle Ambidextrous I "The Right Hand."

See, it's funny because "ambidextrous" means "both right [hands]" in Latin, see, and... we're saying it's the other right hand, y'know, and there's only one of them...

I'll be good.


But what if I do a third collection? I'm screwed!

the brightside

Well, considering the collections are named "Ambidextrous," doesn't it make sense for there to be two?

Y'know, a good title for your third book would be holy hell what's that?

*runs out the door*


Heh, heh... NICE :D


Sweet new banner animation for this, only slightly dissappointing that Prof. Panda doesn't poke my hand or something... Or maybe I didn't click on him enough - I'll try a few more...

hmmm... nope.

Really cool animation - he kind of takes a deep breath onRollover...

maybe just a few more clicks...


Oh my gosh... I LOVE Harry Potter. Glad to see so many kindred spirits.

And on a separate note, I just got my copy of The Wippins Campaign in the mail yesterday. So exciting! But I have to say I was a bit disappointed when it was not accompanied by the promised letter of authenticity.

But oh well... I love it anyway.


Oh, you know.... I just realized it says every "print" comes with a certificate of authenticity...

My bad. Now I'm gonna have to buy the Ambidextrous series... seriously, you've got to stop making me spend money!


Randallard - Heh, heh - yeah, it was tempting to make him a bit more interactive, but I couldn't devote TOO much time to the animation.

Stan wants me to make Professor Panda shirts. So maybe he IS destined for more attention...

Martha - I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, only prints come with Certificates of Authenticity. All the books are sent from Lulu, so I wouldn't be able to include them anyways.

*EDIT - Ooops! Looks like you discovered that while I was typing this comment :D


to pick up on the latin nerdery--for the third and fourth books, you could switch to the left hands, though i'm not sure "ambisinistrous" has entered common usage yet.

thanks to these comments, i now think of the two characters as "dexter" and "sinister."

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