Thursday, May 22, 2008

Benjamin Smole

Benjamin Smole

Don't Dig A Hole; Dig A Smole!

Benjamin Smole, as you can tell, sells premium-grade holes. We're talking high-quality cavities here, not those cheap, knock-offs you see on TV, calling themselves a hole when they're — at best — a ditch. No sir, you put a Smole Classic™ or a Benjamin's Choice Ultra-Wide™ in your backyard and all your drainage, trash, and burial problems are over. So you can understand Benjamin's enthusiasm — he believes in his product!

Oddly enough, the hole-selling game has been abysmal, just abysmal, these days. He's been traveling the country, going door-to-door, and yet just can't seem to drive home a sale.

Benjamins Sale 01

Even that sure-fire technique for sales success, the Town Square Medicine-Show Demonstration, just isn't bringing in the Sacajaweas. In fact, most people almost seem to leave before the demonstration even starts!

Benjamins Sale 02

But rest assured, Benjamin will keep at it, because if there's one thing anyone in the hole-selling game knows, it's that people just can't live without their holes.

Speaking of Traveling The Country and Holes

Rob Enjoying A Sandwich

Good friend and frequent Bearskinrug model, Rob Weychert (pictured above), has been traveling the country throughout May, and has recently begun his return trip home. His adventures, documented here with brevity and humor, have been amusing me throughout the month — you might enjoy them yourself, so check it out!

Comments on this Article

There are currently 30 comments.

[ Add one of your own! ]


It took me a rather long time to get the primary joke. Your other pun is also quite awful.


Haha - other pun? What's the other pun?


Darned door-to-door hole salesmen have been by my place three times this week. And I tells them, "Look - I gots holes a'plenty here, sir. And I really don't need you sniffin' 'round my existing holes every other day trying to find fault with'em and whatnot. I'm happy with my holes, thank you very much!"

Awkwardly persistent fella, I tells ya.


Surely Mojo, at the very least, is in the market for what old Ben is selling. They should arrange a meeting. After all, what could possibly go wrong?


Hole needs? Junk? Du-uude...

So, where can I get one?


‘Abysmal’. Surely it was intentional?

Ian Corey

Is that "Apt 3F" a stamp? Impressive, if not.

The Colonel

You're a dirty, dirty man, Kevin. A dirty, filthy man.


Nudity on the bearskinrug! I've been waiting for this day for too long.

glindon marten

This is the dirtiest 4 panel comic I've ever seen... "Hole needs satisfied"... "Putting your junk in holes." and THEN, it's all capped off with a cartoon wang THAT"S NOT EVEN ATTACHED TO A PENGUIN!!! (which begs an idea... penis-mals??)

Absolute madness, I won't be back, ever. Errrr, at least until tomorrow.

Helmut von Flick

Benjamin's $100 hole is rather over priced for it's size. You can pick up a hole in King's Cross for only $30 and I guarantee your junk won't even touch the sides.

Hugh G.

I think many Americans are missing out on the joy of putting things in their holes.


Wow - I return to find such shock at this article's content!

This is pretty clean stuff compared to the One-Offs, or, as Glindon points out, Sketchbook One.


Clearly we, your esteemed reading fraternity, are more timid than your prior estimations would have us. Either that or we're secretly excited but have learned to suppress our emotions with expressions of dismay.

colonic spacecake

I wasn't shocked. I love Benjamin's hole. Almost as much as I like to go fishing with Jack Twist.


wow, at first it started out as a innocent wierd funny thing and then turned into a what I think was a sex joke. I love it!

By the way, I can't find the penis. o wait, never mind i just found it. thanks anyway. and uh

the first thing that came to mind was the bugs bunny cartoons with those removable holes

dick cheney

Mmmm... removable holes.


Is this the first penis on Bearskinrug?

I also see some pubes in their?

Also where is his beard? How can this really be an accurate drawing of Rob without having his trademark beard?


Also the problem with Benjamin Smole's product is the price. Why pay 100 dollars for something you could pay a guy camped out in a Home Depot parking lot to do for FAR FAR less my friend.

Manuel Martensen

Guess Ted B. from downstairs could use one of Smoles UW™ holes.

Manuel Martensen

After some Google (and some rather funny hole lover message boards) i found out that Benny Smole his holes come without any “Black Hole” warranty what-so-ever. Could be rumours though, but i would be alert.

Just imagine having a black hole in the backjard; “Hon, where the frick are the damn kids?”

Nob Jockey

Hey Kevin, how about adding a photo of your anus to this article. I'm sure most readers would like to see your anus get a good posting.


I'd rather not. All those photos are blurry.


I wonder if he knows Mr. Smats and his 21 hats, or Mr. Smeds who has 21 heads....

Terry Tolleson

It's clear Mr. Smole just needs to strike up ACME™ as a distributor for his fine product.

Mountain Gnome

Wholly Amusing and very risque! Loved this post (as always).
Glad to see you're back on BSR!


I think Mr. Smole might achieve a little more success selling his product if he solicits the help of the greatest salesman that ever lived: Billy Mays.


"Let me demonstrate the amazing cleaning power of this man's holes!"


Now, if you only combined these wonderful holes with the stain fighting power of oxygen...

Doctor Decoder

What in tarnations? How many poles can fit in them there holes?

[ Back to Top ]

Recent Articles

[ Visit Article Archives ]

Who Carols Mojo and the Leaves MUSTACHE! The Symbol For Jerk Interpreting Excelsior Dead Love The Big Sandwich Mojo The Bounty Hunter Sketchbook 22 Live! Six-Penny Anthems II