Monday, April 17, 2006

Tough for the Toothfairy

Tough for the Toothfairy

Grimm Times for All

During difficult economic downswings, the Imaginary work sector takes a brutal blow. Inflation means less expendable income, tighter gas budgets, and fewer trips across rivers — Bridge Trolls take a big hit. Desperate homeowners put up vinyl or even aluminum siding in place of gingerbread. Why, you'd be hard-pressed to find a family of bears that can afford porridge that's too hot.

I'm thinking about starting some sort of fund. Whatever you can spare would be appreciated — be it gold-egg laying goose, or omnipotent mirror. It's time to help the fictional less-fortunate.

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Dan Mall

I've got one glass slipper lying around that I'd be willing to donate. I'm sure the other one's out there. Is there a drop box somewhere?


Sure... sure - do you know where the Mobil station is on Yellow Brick Road?


Ahh ... the very reason that I have been forced to eat porridge in the morning instead of good 'ol bacon n' eggs. Nothing like a good ol' chicken fried steak with gravy and eggs & biscuits. Friggin' gas prices ... make ME feel like a damned fairy myself.


Just for kicks, I'll give ya my infamous chili recipe. Together we can get it marketed and distributed internationally. Then we'll be millionaires and not have to worry about gas prices. "Mojo Chili"

Charles G

Did she beat that poor man to a pulp before extending the offer of exchange? My god, that man looks wretched.


All I've got is a mysterious powdery substance here in this old envelope. Hmmm... It could have magical powers or you could be dead in a week. Sorry I couldn't be more of a help. I'm having a failure of imagination and all I'm left with is bad intelligence.


I've got a bag with a few beans you can have, a rusty old lamp I found on the beach, and a battered but still working tinderbox.

None of them look like they're worth much, but ya never know.


Greggie - Awesome! Can we use the chili AS gas as well?

Charles G. - Well, we can't all look like Fred Astaire when we wake up! Sheesh! You supermodels are SO out of touch...

Lee-Roy - Sounds good. It's probably sugar. Sugar kinda looks like that.

Anaglyph - Well, rub them a few times and tell me if anything happens...


I blame the videogames.

Comin' over here, takin' our jobs....


Those can't be his teeth.


But of course, Kevin! It's also known in local circles as Bio-Chili ... less environmental effect, with a fried chicken smell. The farts are wonderous!


hmm... does that mean that we will have poor rhymes too?

Little Boy Puce, come toot your your horn...


Why does the tooth fairy in this picture remind me of "Lady Luck" from the lottery commercials?


Aaaaah!!!!!!! I used to petrified of the tooth fairy when I was a kid. Now this brings everything back, and certainly puts sleep out of the question. I guess I don't need my coffee anymore. Do you know who could use that?

The Colonel

Are we to believe that the Tooth Fairy is knocking out her own teeth to sell back to the children she formerly awarded money to in exchange for their teeth?

Because if so, SOLD! What the Tooth Fairy doesn't know is that the tooth market is BOOMING.

Tooth stocks are through the roof, and from what I've heard, the US Government is planning to switch over to a Tooth-based economy in mere months to complement their planned Orphan-based economy in 2007. Where might I contact this Fairy of the Tooth?


Note to self:
             Replace gold fillings


How will he know if they where his teeth? Why they could be any old teeth. Should he trust this "tooth fairy" she looks a little liquered up to me.


DVSDave - Are you inferring Puce to be an inferior color!? How COULD you? What color is Puce!!?

Aaron - I'm not familiar with this "Lady Luck". From the commercials, I mean. The REAL "Lady Luck" left me a LONG time ago for Marlon Brando. Who in turn left him for Frank Sinatra. Skipped right over Joey Bishop, though...

Jared - Scared of the tooth fairy? Even in her heyday, when she was the hottest thing past midnight?

The Colonel - Oh yeah... I've been waiting for things to swing around to Tooth Time for YEARS. That's why I never threw out the necklaces I made from dead soldiers...

Well... to be fair... some of them were dead horses....

okay... live horses...

live soldiers.


Ty - Heh, heh... that's the tooth fairy for ya... crazy drunk...


The idea of someone breaking into my house and snatching my used teeth just never sat well with me. Now I don't know of anyone who saw her personally, but she is commonly portrayed on TV by a fat dude in tutu with a wand. Sounds more like an escaped mental patient.


She sort of has a Courtney Love vibe going on so yeah, who is afraid of the Tooth Fairy? I am!

We weren't on top of things when my son lost his first tooth, but the morning after he lost his second one was funny. He pulled the dollar bill out from under his pillow, looked at it with a puzzled expression on his face and exclaimed "hey, I want my tooth back!"


Hah, hah - Did you explain to him that you use the dollar to buy candy to lose more teeth to get more money? It's how nature works!

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