Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Inventors’ Duel

The Inventors’ Duel

An Accidental Pursuit

"Inventor" seems like one of those careers that you don't really plan on entering. No one seems to train to be an inventor; when you train, you become a Scientist, or an Engineer. An inventor stumbles into their role by accident:

"I had to keep going in and out of the house to take off the storm windows, so I created windows that automatically change themselves. I wasn't planning it, but it's worked out great!"

And according to the research I haven't done, inventors often just need an injury to push them into the profession:

"This old piano fell on me, and knocked me unconcious; but when I came to, I suddenly understood how to make toast FIVE times faster!"

In many cases, the only difference between "Inventor" and "Trauma Victim" seems to be waking up with a useful idea.

All of this leads me to believe I could become an inventor. I actually might already be an inventor, and not even realize it. There's a ton of things I do to make life easier. I put my scanner on a Lazy Susan so it's easier to spin around. I leave clothes I still plan to wear on the chair, so they're easy to spot. I even calculated the EXACT thickness of book I need to prop under the couch so that it doesn't wobble anymore. Perhaps I'll invent something else, to clean up all the trash after the ticker-tape parade I'll eventually earn with my inventions...

Nothing's coming to me right now, but I'm sure after a few whacks on the head with this hamme —

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Shouldn't you be in bed?

I met an inventor once, when I worked in a shop. He lived off the patent for a fuel line he invented for moving fuel in an engine more efficiently. Or something like that. Mostly I was just interested in the fact that he didn't have to have a job.

I don't know how it came up actually. Maybe he was just taunting me. Maybe he spent every wet Tuesday afternoon wandering around telling bored, employed shop assistants that he didn't even have to work, just to rub it in their faces.


Yeah... I probably should be in bed. BUT...

It does sound like he was rubbing it in your face. If I were you, I'd invent a punching bag out of his scrotum. That'll show 'em.


He actually had a twirly moustache though. I kid you not.


Haha - well. It's part of the uniform...


Wow, the guy who invented the twirly moustache must be minted at this stage.


I once made a remote controlled appearing fruit hat, but some bastard stole my prototype...

John Nick

The Twirly Moustache holds awesome powers. One ought not trifle with The Twirly Moustache. Perhaps the next version will offer an array of charcuterie.


poor Susan, she's always taken advantage of, since she's too lazy to do anything about it...why'd you have to put your scanner on her?

Terry Tolleson

For the love of GOD, man! What does it do?! WHAT DOES IT DO?!? TELL US!!!!


I'd buy anything that went "Boop Poop!"


I think it's "Doop".


Well never mind then.


I liked it better when I thought it "pooped" the fruit out.


I've invented lots of stuff. It's all stored in my head though, because I don't want people to rip me off like with the Flap and Snap. That's right folks, that was me.


Terry - I'm not sure what it does... but hopefully it doesn't create fruit hats, or he's lost his chance to patent.

JCRogers - You don't need an invention if you want your fruit pooped out.

I'm sorry. That was tasteless.

Unlike pooped-out fruit.

oh dear

Ian - So how did the Shakeskin people get your idea?


They beat it out of me. Watch out for those guys.


I feel sorry for the little guy with the other invention. He looks so disappointed...


I like that the original inventor's invention changes in each frame. I bet it's just another remote controlled appearing fruit hat...


Ahhh ... is Kevin still with us? In FULL mind and body? Sounds like he broke out MY invention at the end of his story ... the Frontal Lobotomy Hammer.

Little do people know that I actually invented the action of hitting one's head with the Frontal Lobotomy Hammer in order to cut the nerves that run from the frontal cortex to the thalamus in psychotic patients who suffer from repetitive thoughts ...


So, does the twirly moustache predispose one to becoming italian??


Plug - Yeah - I think that's what he actually just invented. A thing that changes in every frame of a comic. Clever little guy!

Greggie - I know you invented it! I got your book about it, before it was banned by the medical community.

Fiona - Not necessarily. It does predispose one to be sexy.

Lil' Black Loner

Greggie: I wish the Frontal Lobotomy Hammer had been created when i had my surgury done, maybe i wouldnt have to live with this scar in the the shape of a lightening bolt on my forehead, That's Right Folk's, J.K. stole the idea from a mental lobotomy patient.

Also i think the Chiquita Banana Girl already has the patent on the BOOP DOOP Fruit Hat. Correct me if im wrong.!?!

Lil' Black Loner

Hi, all i never introduced myself, im Paest, one day i was just googling the words, 'clever witty and repartee' and i found this site. I started reading though it and i was dumbstruck by all the witty retorts, some of you guys really have the gift. So know i come to this site on occasion hoping it will afford me some wit too. I guess u could say 'I am the inferior who to the feast of the wise unbidden goes'-Plato translation i am the dumbass that spend his time in the company of the wise without being invited.


I like boop doop fruit hat. What me wise?


there was a great concept for an invention that michael keaton's character from night shift noted - packaging the mayo & tuna together. aside from millions of people hurling and having major bacterial outbreaks - i fail to see why this never came to be.


Seems I've missed the train on this one, but I think the new inventor in the last panel is trying to figure how to modify his invention to provide encephalized fruit.. He's a true creative: stoic in failure and ready to suck any juicy new trend into raisins. By that definition, you're not a creative, Kevin. That must mean you're some sort of god.


I had fruit once.

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