Friday, December 16, 2005

Danger, Santa!!!!

Danger, Santa!!!!

A vigilant pause could have saved Claus

There's a lesson here... you've always got to keep your eyes open. You never know when your enemies will strike. I myself have a number of foes, and I'm constantly on the defensive against them. As for Santa, he knows better than to accept strange packages, especially ones that are giggling nefariously.

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isn't jesus santa's nemesis? i demand a redraw that depicts jesus jumping out of a giant gift box. maybe wearing a funny hat. or a slinky evening gown. i don't know-- you're the artist, i'll let you decide.


Why not both?


Everyone knows that Santa's real arch-enemy is lower-back pain.

All that lifting... climbing down chimneys.

Captain Purple

Other points to consider: How did Herman get past Santa's security (could them elves be in on it)?

If Herman is still alive, who did Claus gun down in that Detroit alley back in July?

Santa clearly has the ways and means to eliminate Herman, why hasn't he done so already?

For extra credit: Compare and contrast the Santa/Herman relationship to others such as Hamlet/Cladius, Batman/Joker or perhaps Lavern/Shirley.

Rob Weychert

If ever there was a son of a bitch, it was Herman.


Lets be realistic. Santa is probably a really tough S.O.B.

If you think about all the "crap" he deals with: packaging, shipping presents, and answering little kid's letters. He also manages the longest list of names, ever. Period. He keeps the reindeer in-line, and he has to deal with those pesky elves, on a daily basis. That takes some serious organizational skills. He's probably a no-nonsense kinda guy and I'm willing to bet Herman is no match for this eminent, humbling, holiday ass-whipping.

Santa is just a little shocked to see him. The next panel might be Santa pummeling him with candy canes and good cheer.


Aaron: unfortunately, Mrs. Claus (Mary Christmas, or whatever pseudonym she goes by now) is the unofficial head of operations at the NP. she handles the letters, the list, the reindeer, the elves, and on top of it all has quiche ready by the time Santa gets back from shuffleboarding with is buddies. santa's sole responsibility is getting the gifts out to all the children of the world.

which is not in anyway to diminish SC's abilities, as i once saw him wrestle a polar bear for "poos and giggles" and let me tell you, he is 37% jolly and 73% WHOMP ASS (he exceeds the normal 100% limit due to his girth). sorry for the lengthy post, i just wanted to give Mrs. Claus the respect she deserves.


Pierce - yeah, and his man-bosoms don't help.

Captain Purple - Those are all thought provoking questions... when are the essays due?

Rob - Indeed. I think we all can agree Herman is no good.

Aaron - he's totally tough.

Terry Tolleson

I think we are all forgetting the quintessential element of this illustration: there is no address, or From/To card on the "gift". So, how then, does Herman come to be in front of Santa now? The answer is clear — the Dutch antithesis of Christmas: Pijnlijk Claus, "delivered" him. Surely all know of the sordid history of Kris Kringle and northern Belgium, so I won't get into it here.

Ultimately, what we are witnessing is the result of centuries of planning for the demise of Papa Noel. Herman is just the unwitting pawn in the conspiracy (as his death was already faked, no one will be the wiser). A bitter lad — never having received his much pleaded for croquet set, with the marble inlay — Herman was easily seduced into helping the Pijnlijk. With the C-4 scattered throughout the interior of the box (disguised as packing beans) Santa will die in a stormy shower of his, and Herman's, own blood.

The Dutch will have their celebration. Unfortunately, this means our esteemed illustrator here will find his very own sniggering package soon enough... he knew too much... oh wait... there's a postman at the door.


Lets take a quick look at the origin of the name, Herman:

Means "army man", derived from the Germanic element heri "army" combined with man "man".

So Herman is a nazi, and that's why Santa hates him. Well, that and the fact he sports a mean side-part.


Paul: No doubt. Behind every strong man, is a stronger woman.

But like Sir Edmund Hillary, and George Leigh Mallory, I'm sure Santa's cold-weather worn, and high-altitude acclimatized physique, make him more than a match against Herman.

Mrs. Claus is the real deal, I've had her Egg Nog, and its no walk in the park.



I'm hoping for a lump of Herman in my stocking!

(wait, that didn't sound right ... never mind.)


I think Santa's been slacking off a little bit his later years. With a package wrapped THAT horribly, who else could it possibly be besides an arch-nemesis? Look at that ribbon and that bow! What a sorry sight!


What happens next? did herman do something evil to Mr. Santa? ;D


This is all very well, Papa Claus is no doubt as hard as nails but I demand some sort of back story on this battle of good and evil. Has santa been harboring some homicidal tendencies these past years.
There has been an oft-reported absence of Jack Frost in recent times, global warming, hmmm, it is all becoming quite clear.
Could the old fella be responsible for thousands of unsolved deaths. Indeed Scotland Yard are still trying to determine the identity of Jack the wrapper. I thank yaw.


MattMullen ... I believe I may have found a bit of insight for us all ...


some may see herman as a nazi with a mean side-part, or a disgruntled Claus, Inc. accountant who was once fired or perhaps just a righteous arch enemy or football field streaker. yet, herman is simply a douchebag jumping out of a box trying to scare the bujeezus out of the santameister. we all have our hermans in life. for santa, it is a smarmy and sneaky nerd with entirely too much time on his hands...


santa shouldve seen that one coming. the bow isnt even the same as the ribbon on the box! A friendly present wouldnt harm your eyes with such inconsistency!

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