Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I'm currently wrestling with a bout of insomnia. This happens to me every once in a while, usually when I've got a lot of stuff in my head. My version of insomnia isn't the popular notion, where a person is up all night and never gets to sleep. Mine is luckily a more courteous version, where I have no trouble falling asleep, but once I wake up — I'm up. I believe much of this is rooted in my tendencies toward uni-tasking. The moment I wake up, my mind slyly folds up the "sleep" task, puts it on the shelf, and slips a new task on the table of consciousness while I was off peeing, or getting a drink of water, or some other common middle-of-the-night distraction. Then I get back in bed and say, "Alright... let's get back to some of that excellent sleeping!" But Brain says, "Sleep? Look on the table, buddy — I just laid out the [ fill in the blank with Kevin's latest project ]!"
So I get up. I used to ignore what my mind was saying, and try and get back to sleep anyways. But all that lead to was laying in bed for the next 4-5 hours, wide awake, thinking — If I just lay here, I'll eventually fall asleep. In the meantime, Brain is getting pretty fucking pissed that I'm delaying whatever new task he laid out — so he punishes me by letting me fall asleep about 10 minutes before I have to wake up. Then I spend the rest of the day thick and grouchy; while Brain acts all smug because he knows that I don't have the balls to put a stick up my nose and poke him, even though I wanna teach him a lesson.