Thursday, October 09, 2003

New Money

New Money

This morning I watched a commercial for the new twenty dollar bill, unaware that such a thing had been created. And let me tell you, I'm pretty excited about it. That old twenty was so lame. I'd go into Wal-mart, and go to pay for some magazines, and the squares in line would be paying with the same style twenty as me. I just got this hip new twenty eight years ago, and now all the uncool kids have em! Jesus, my mom has the new tens now, and the kentucky quarter!

So this is a pretty big thing. I can't wait to slip that rainbow currency into a strippers thong. I know I'm guaranteed a little extra bump and shake for it — more than that old guy without teeth holding out the (snicker) old twenty. I can see old Andy Jackson winking his approval now!

In the meantime, I'll start upgrading my existing bills. To be honest, I've got a lot of old twenties to throw out, so it might take a while. I mean, I still haven't completely melted all those buffalo nickels my uncle left me in his will.

Comments on this Article

There are currently 5 comments.

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mr. cashdollar

As the oft-hearlded inventor of modern currency, I find this colored money offensive. Does that make me a racist?

bearskinrug

Yes. Get off my virtual property.

Ryan

I won a color twenty from a goldfish competition.

bearskinrug

Yeah, goldfish are always acting like big shot high-rollers.

Ryan

I got it off a Goldfish box competition. I also won another prize from them today. A gay colorful wallet.

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